High school is supposed to be the pinnacle of most of our social lives. It’s a time when people start to mold into what they are. People start to find their friend groups, their true interests, and some even get into relationships throughout their four years (probably the most overhyped part of high school according to all the cheesy movies we all see).
However, us high schoolers fail time and time again at the whole dating thing. High school sweethearts marry only rarely as they only account for about two percent of all marriages. So, why are high schoolers bad at dating? In an open questionnaire that about 40 students from LHS, other high schoolers, and some college students had answered, the most common answer was immaturity.
Many people believe that high schoolers are too immature physically and mentally to be in a relationship. Many of us don’t know exactly what we want. We may not have yet found out who we are. Or maybe we just don’t have the right social skills to date. Then there is the huge thing high schoolers find frightening: commitment.
Teens who want a relationship usually want it for the wrong reasons. Many of the high school students polled indicated that that there are many obstacles to dating: some of the reasons identified by students included: some people only want sex; some potential mates are too clingy and jealous; some don’t want to put in any effort or time into a relationship; it’s hard to trust others; they don’t want to play games; teens are too self-centered; their standards are too high;, and for our age group, we're just inexperienced and can’t handle all the aspects of a real relationship.
Some college students gave their own views on the topic, offering views such as about their peers who seem desperate to rush into a relationship when they truly aren’t ready and how no one makes enough money to go on real dates, as we only go to the movies or eat somewhere. Some also said, “It’s college students too, nothing changes.”
Many factors contribute to the fact that high schoolers can’t seem to get it right when it comes to dating. So, how can us high schoolers clean up our reputations for having horrible relationships?
In another open questionnaire we asked the same people how dating in high school can be improved.
The most common answer offered was that we need a better sense of communication and trust between partners. People don’t want to tell each other the important things that make a relationship prosper and they don’t trust the other to go hang out with people when they aren’t there, resulting in a failed relationship.
Also, if people learned to love ourselves before we love others we’d do a lot better at dating. Looking for other people to give us the love we can’t give ourselves is selfish and isn’t fair and usually results in being clingy and jealous. Loving yourself allows you to then share your love with your partner and grow in a relationship. Also, you have to have an understanding with your partner. If there’s no understanding there’s no relationship.
We also have to treat each other with more respect and appreciate the position we are in more. People are with you not to just be with you but because they care about you, so don’t take it for granted and show them the respect and care they want to give you. Lastly, have fun with it. We are basically kids at the end of the day, so have fun and don’t be so serious about everything.